I met Sarah years ago, on a website where I met a lot of my friends, Live Journal.  Don’t snark – it used to be the place to BE! Honestly, it was the bomb diggity! As it turned out, she lived locally to my BFF Amber, in Iowa, we’ve met in real life a couple times, hung out, and she and her kiddies are some of my very favorite peeps on Snap Chat every day!

My one year journey is coming to an end, my love/hate relationship with my pump.

Let me begin by saying my daughter was born 5 weeks premature and I tried valiantly to breastfeed her, she had no latch.  So I tried to pump and failed miserably.  As a first time mom who was just learning all the new baby things, pumping on top of everything else?  I just couldn’t do it.  Two months was as long as I made it with my first child.

I’m not saying formula feeding is bad in the least,  heck my daughter was formula practically from birth.  So if you use formula, GREAT!  If you Breastfeed,  GREAT!  If you pump, AWESOME.  Doing what works for you is perfect, just do what feels RIGHT.  You are the parent, you do know best.  I just wanted to TRY with my son, my second child to give him breast milk.

I was prepared at the hospital, I asked for a pump to be brought to me as soon as I was admitted, told them my preference of brand.  They bring you the hospital grade pump while I was in the hospital, that thing is a BEAST. Think STRONG, Think SUPER SUCK!   As soon as he was born, Maxon was a ‘no-latch’ as well. (Turns out he has tongue tie, at least we know now).  The lactation woman at the hospital was older and not very gentle with me and helped me nada.  No different positions, or trying different things.  I am a Big girl and I worried about suffocating him, she told me to “figure it out”.  We never did, “figure it out”, that is at, the breast.

I would like to insert here that there are resources out there for breastfeeding moms.  GO on Facebook! Go into local baby stores! If you want to breastfeed GET HELP!

There are so many people out there that I didn’t know about willing to support you! Just look! They are there!!!  In fact now in hindsight I wish I would have put a plea out there for help, as I even have acquaintances who are lactation specialists and would have dropped everything to help.

What I’m trying to say is, you are not alone. ♡

However, I did get the pump to work for me.  The first pump I used was an Ameda. The Ameda was an Ok pump, I went through two motors and had to be sent a third when the second failed again, in the span of 1 1/2 months.  This caused me to change pumps, finally.  Don’t get frustrated pumping Moms, just go down a different path!

I got a Medela.  I Love my Medela.  This has suction like a champ and has NEVER let me down. (Little breastfeeding pun there, the moms will get it)  It is easy to clean and easy to transport.  Mine has been across the country in airplanes, in cars and across many states.  I’ve pumped in airports, cars, vans, hotels, houses, apartments almost everywhere.  I pumped in the car trip, in the car hooked up to the car lighter.  Not glamorous but really not that bad.  It’s also not embarrassing, yes it makes a noise.  My daughter says it’s cheering me on “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!”   but yes, it has a distinct noise.  My sister in law once commented while I was on the phone, “are you pumping? Good Lord, I remember THAT noise”    It’s not hard, it’s time consuming.

The hardest part, other than the time commitment, for me, was the worry.  I worried about every drop, every oz, every low night and full morning.  I took Fenugreek, ate lactation cookies, guzzled water, gatorade, and worried if I didn’t make enough.  Here’s the thing, it’s normal.  Every mom is NORMAL.  You just have to realize that your body will make what it will.

The rest is time.

Time to drink water, time to pump, time to feed, time to pump and it goes on and on.

It gets to be a ‘normal’ part of your life.  So normal, when in passing my husband, I eventually took to saying, “time to pump my tits again”.

It’s normal.

It’s as normal as breastfeeding, and yes I consider pumping still breastfeeding!

The best thing that I was blessed to have is an extremely supportive family and friends.   They helped on car rides, family trips, and every day to support my breastfeeding journey.  Las was a constant sounding board, snapchat partner and ear to pull.  She listened when my supply TANKED, and I FREAKED.  She held my hand through my up and downs and i thank her for that, she was my light at times when everything was dark.   My husband also helped me by washing parts and making bottles and on and on.  I cant sing enough praises to my loving husband.  He brought me water and kept the kids entertained while I pumped.  He spoke words of encouragement to keep going, and pumped me up when I was so extremely close to stopping multiple times.  Tonight we have a date night to celebrate.  I will most likely have alcohol for the first time in 5 years, tonight we celebrate this hard and wonderfully rewarding experience that we have gone through together.

You, yes you reading this, if you are a breastfeeding mother.  Pumping COUNTS!  This Saturday I will pump for the very last time, and while I’m excited and happy it’s also bittersweet.   I love knowing exactly what is going into my son’s body.  I have frozen stored so I will make his birthday and it will be one year. Since i have done this, I feel anyone can.

I’m open to anyone who needs a helping hand or has a question about pumping. I remember having a million questions and feeling dumb, too dumb to ask and i wish i would have asked.  So ask! Please ask! It’s a journey just you and your pump, but you don’t have to travel it alone.