Fertility: Why do you blog, what you blog?

Jul 25, 2013
icemaiden013

This week the world gained a Prince.  Shortly after his birth, a fertility blog I follow, The Infertility Voice posted a status on their facebook:

“I know the ‪#‎RoyalBaby‬ announcement may be hitting hard for some of you right now – and that’s okay. Turn off the TV, avoid the news online if you can & stay strong. *hugs*”

I ‘liked’ it, which obviously brought the status on to my friends feeds and I was asked a question,

“Why are other people not allowed babies, or not allowed to be happy and celebrate the birth of their children? Why would it upset people? I don’t understand.  Why turn off the news?”

It’s a perfectly reasonable question for someone who has never entered the realm of infertility.  It doesn’t make much sense to anyone who hasn’t lived it and even if you have, it’s so hard to explain, or put in to words.

‘It’s so hard to explain, that’s not exactly what they mean.  Finding out someone you know is pregnant, or has just given birth, is one of the hardest things when you are suffering with infertility.  It’s not that you’re not happy for them, it’s not that they aren’t allowed babies or to celebrate.  It’s that you can’t have children, it’s the one thing you want more than every thing and it’s so damn painful to see someone else having exactly what you want, when everything that makes you essentially ‘female’ is broken. 

So, you try and face babies on your own terms, you prepare yourself for baby encounters, for baby births and what not.  It’s not rational, or something you can control, it’s an instinctual reaction.  My friend didn’t want to tell me she was pregnant a second time cause she wasn’t sure how I’d take the news, it’s such fragile ground’.

My answer really was clear as mud, but it really reminded me of why I blog what I blog and why I share my story with the world through and then I stumbled upon an interview with actress Elisabeth Rohm, who explained it a lot more succinctly than I can;

‘Privacy is important, but, when there is a chance to create a movement, a higher consciousness around a subject, that, for the most part, isn’t much talked about, we should, where possible, put that chance to good use. 

We are in a time where it’s the ‘wild west’ of infertility, there’s still so much that we can get behind, in regards to progress.  By keeping it to myself, I felt like it was a sin of omission.

You begin to realise that by speaking out about the subject, that you can be supportive for one another and healing for one another, and oftentimes that becomes a greater than your ‘need’ for privacy.

You’re not alone, you’re not a freak, or wrong, or broken’ – Elisabeth Rohm

Keep on bloggin’!

Feeling a little bummed about the Royal baby? Check out this guest blog over on The Infertility Voice.

4 thoughts on “Fertility: Why do you blog, what you blog?”

  1. Of course it hurts, it BLOODY hurts, knife-turning-in-the-stomach hurts, HEARTACHE. With me it was Cherie Blair announcing a pregnancy just as I came out of hospital having lost my third. I know, I’ve been there and some. Infertility due to endometriosis requiring major surgery, then one stillbirth at 32 weeks and the premature birth of a baby who lived for four days. Anybody who cannot understand these feelings is ignorant. Feel it and don’t feel guilty, it’s completely natural. Have you read “Family” by Susan Hill? I found it a great comfort when going through my own struggle. I am very fortunate to have one lovely daughter, now age 18. Keep strong, we’re with you, you’ll get there x.

    1. I haven’t, but I may buy it for a read. I’m keeping the faith – fingers crossed and lots of prayers!!

  2. I’ve been thinking of you, Las, and of the folks over at Saltwater & Honey, with all the press and social media news over the new Prince. I think the issue is that a lot of people just don’t think, because it doesn’t directly affect them.

    *sends love & hugs*

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