I’ve finally gotten things into a semi-decent order here in H-town and I figured it was about time I brought y’all up to speed on our wedding-week antics!

Aside from the airport pick-ups, drops offs, the tears and drama a lot of fun was had by all, starting with my Bachelorette party.  Otherwise known as…

The fun and games started with pink T-shirts designed by Amber, each T-shirt had a word written on it.

Mine said horny (the only T-shirt word not picked by yours truly) – and came complete with pink plastic penis boppers, pink fluffy holster, plastic water guns, a flashing penis shot glass and a selection of various sized and coloured plastic penis accessories.

Kind of like this one! LOL!

Stage one of the festivies was  a ‘Passion Party’.  I’ve never been to an Ann Summers party at home, or known anyone who’d been to one either, so wasn’t sure what to expect.  I wasn’t sure how tasteful it was going to be, if we’d have fun or if it was going to be uber weird, sitting in a room of your friends having a ‘sexpert’ talking to you about a subject that has traditionally been ‘Taboo’.  I was a little nervous!

Turns out it was lots of fun and very tasteful (as you can see from the pictures!), inspite of the variety of plastic penis accessories – including those that glow in the dark and, what was most tastefully termed a ‘lollicock’.

Yup, definitely very tasteful! LOL!

It was informative, hilarious and I think everyone had a really great time.  It was definitely a great way to kick-start the events of the evening and get the alcohol flowing!  After the passion party we all went for a pink T-shirted dander down the street…which, in itself is odd and would attract looks from most people…however, when you’ve a large group of people all wearing pink T-shirts? You’re definitely going to attract some strange glances!

We went to Sambuca in downtown Houston, a top notch restaurant for a slap up dinner…

…with even more plastic penises!

Dinner was delicious, dessert was great and I washed it all down with a fab strawberry daquiri, while listening to a great live band who covered an eclectic mix of music for us to sing and dance along with.

After dinner it was time to head out on the town in the limo! We rode around downtown Houston in for a while (trying to find a non-country radio station) sipping on some fruity wine (especially brought down from the Amana Colonies in Iowa!)…with even more penises!

until a friend of mine suggested we hit up the local gay bar…and hit it up we did!

I’ve never been to a gay bar before, but, we were told by the bartender, that it’s a popular place for ladies to go on their bachelorette night – AND, it was just my luck, that they had a stripper that night (who took great pleasure in showing me his wares!)

It was so much fun! (the gay bar, not the stripper! LOL!) Amber had made a deck of cards, on each card she’d written a drink’s name and it’s ingredients.  So, each time my drink ran dry, I picked a card and the drink was purchased…

For most of the night, I had 2 drinks on the go at the same time.  A tall one and a short one…my favourite of the night had to have been this one…

The bomb pop!

It was most definitely a thing of beauty…

It was so yummy I spent about 10 minutes licking the glass when I was done! lol!!

much to everyones amusement!

The fun continued with a stripping competition and a cross-dressing performer called Coffee who kept calling me ‘Horny’ all night…we also danced up a storm together!

We may have also broken a rule here and there…

and of course…

More penises!!

and more!!

Coffee and I became good friends…and I ended up embracing my new ‘Horny’ name!

I ended up completely drunk, we got back to the hotel and I just lay down on the sofabed and went straight to sleep!

It was a great night, Helena, Amber and Emily all put a lot of hard work into it, it all definitely paid off and was greatly appreciated!  We drank a lot, we laughed a lot and I think we’re all going to suffer from some night terrors as a result of that stripping competition we witnessed (not to mention the ‘buff’ stripper with the rippling pecks) but it was a blast and it’ll go down in my history as being one of the best night’s out I’ve ever had.

Not only that, but the following morning, we were up bright and early, hungover for a mani-pedi that Helena and I had scheduled – in retrospect, a tad too early!

This is the only photo I have from Col’s bachelor party (the night after my party) – don’t they all look so sensible? From what I hear the boys had a great night in Dave and Busters (and a fantastic meal), they even made it home at a respectable hour and Col has a full cup of D&B tokens to cash in the next time we head up for a night of games!

I’m sure if we asked him nicely Col would write a few words on how fun his night was, cause it sounds as though the bachelor party was more of an afterthought in this blog – it’s moreso that I’ve no idea what to write about it, cause I wasn’t there! LOL!

I do know that everyone, at both parties, seem to have had a really great time across the board and I know as foggy as some of my memories are, for the most part they are fantastic memories that I’ll carry with me forever.  Also – the gay bar was a GREAT idea and tonnes of fun (in spite of the traumatising stripper who shoved my hand on his junk!).

I can’t thank my girlies enough and my house is now coming down with plastic penises – which make me giggle every time I try and decide where to tidy them all away to!