Take a shit or get off the toilet…

Wow.  What to do in times of crisis eh?

As I sit here, warm drink in hand and people watching, I see maybe 6 or 7 people.  Each of them engaged in their own little world and all looking like they’ve got everything under control and like they haven’t got a care in the world.

I have cares, in fact, I’ve got so many cares that I’ve removed myself from everything and am sitting on my own.  I’m like a duck on a pond.  Aside from the calm on the surface part, my legs are paddling frantically under the water, but my arms are flapping too…

My schedule says that I’m supposed to be having a romantic lunch with my best friend.  In actual fact, he’s off fighting fires and trying his utmost to give me the day he feels I deserve.

This morning, he was mad.  Not at me – he’s rarely ever mad at me.  In fact, the last time he was mad at me was the last time we were alone, together.  He even shouted at me and made me cry – which is something that has NEVER, EVER happened before.  He was mad and wondering how he was going to stop himself from lashing out at people causing me hassle, I don’t know how he’s bitten his tongue but I’d be surprised if, when I get around to seeing him – he still has it!

You know what they say, weddings bring out the worst in people.  Apparently mine has brought out the worst in pretty much everyone I’ve ever met.  It’s been ugly.

I won’t air all of my dirty laundry, mainly because I’m too exhausted and drained to face the backlash that comes from my apparent ‘digs’ at people on a blog I never knew they even read, but take my word for it, it’s been dog eat dog ugly.

They also say your wedding is the best, or one of the best days of your life.  I’m hoping that’s the case, cause the run up to the ‘best day of my life’, has been breaking.  It’s been some of the most complicated project management I’ve ever done.  Not so much the wedding itself, but the people.

I don’t give enough information, I don’t utilise people enough, I give out too much information, I give people so much stuff to do.  I have a crap schedule, I should have done this, that or the other and all the while I’m busting my balls trying to accommodate everyone around me.

Move the rehearsal dinner for X and Y isn’t happy, don’t know how a wedding ceremony runs and what to do with the ring cushion? how can you not? you’re the bride, you’re supposed to know.

What people seem to forget is, that this is my first wedding.  I have zero clue what happens to a ring pillow after it’s brought up the aisle. I have no idea how to decorate a venue when the night before it’s decorated for a huge community halloween party and we can’t get in to the venue until the morning of.  I don’t know how to cover the most horrendous curtains I’ve ever seen.  I don’t know how to pick two people up, from two different airports at the exact same time.

I don’t know.

Apparently the mere fact that I’m using this phrase is the cause of all the havoc – people expect me to know.  People demand that I know.  Well, I don’t know – and I’m perfectly ok not knowing.  Actually, I rather prefer it that way it means I get to discover things along the way. 

Apparently, as one Josh ‘Lemon’ Lyman once discovered, ‘turns out I was the calmest person in the room’.

The calm before the storm never came and time’s a-ticking.

I need shoes for my rehearsal dinner…

3 thoughts on “Take a shit or get off the toilet…”

  1. ‘Hang in there’ feels so inadequate right now, I’m sorry Las. 🙁 Remember the day is not about them, it is about and Colin. To hell with those who’ve forgotten that. I don’t care if they read it and it offends them either. Being selfish is shitty anytime but especially during someone’s wedding. If people didn’t want to buckle down and be a team player they could have said no when asked to participate. I don’t understand why they are asking you 100 questions. Damn people do you not have the ability to use the sense God gave you? You did too much to please everyone and instead of being fun and people appreciating it the plans have worn you out and caused chaos and given people another reason to bitch. Seriously peoples lack of gratitude sometimes AMAZES me.

    Oh what? You didn’t have to pay for hotels/food/dresses/suits/rental cars? You didn’t have to drive yourselves or others to and from the airport and other locations? You didn’t even have to be bothered to read a map? But you are right wedding people who suck (not all of you, just the sucky ones) why haven’t Las and Col done more for you? Heaven forbid you actually have to think for yourselves at some point or take one for the team. Silly Las, she should have known the answer to every possible asinine question that could possibly have come up. Silly her for thinking some of you may have been to a wedding before or could use google or someone else to find an answer you might need. Hell, why didn’t she sew the outfits herself so no one had to bother with picking them up or getting fitted? Why did she get to select the outfits and how they are worn at all? Had you known that the day was about the bride and groom and not you, you probably would have passed on the invite right?

    Does the dripping sarcasm bother people? My apologies but it was either that or sock puppets to explain this. Now granted people did not come from across an ocean to my wedding but they did come from 15 hours away and other countries and most had never been to Omaha which is a rather large city and tough to navigate in some spots. HOWEVER- no one stayed at our house, no one had us drive them around, no one expected us to do anything with them to entertain them and everyone took care of getting their final fittings and paying for their stuff. They paid for outfits, hotels, rental cars, GPS, flight, gasoline for the cars, food and activities outside of the wedding and if they had a question they asked EVERYONE else before they asked me. The schedule I gave them was literally “We are going to the zoo on Thursday, if you want to meet us there, cool. Rehearsal at the church at this time (and here is the address for you to find), rehearsal dinner at this time, day of the wedding girls get their hair done at this time, boys meet us at church for pictures by this time and wedding is at this time” and that was it. I assumed people could be trusted to get that much done and I didn’t have the time, nor should I have had to, spoon feed every little detail to them. Sure there were minor issues but people put it aside because it was our day…oh yeah…and they are grown.

    The point is, surely when someone has gone to all the trouble that Las and Col have to include people in their day and have spent their $$$ and their time on pretty much everything, the least you could do was suck it up and be civil and helpful. I really hope you feel good about yourselves when this is all done. Really, trashing and bickering with someone on their wedding weekend is beyond petty. I guess if you can look at yourselves in the mirror each day and sleep peacefully each night than you’ve got a lot more gall then most people. Just be careful when you climb down from those soap boxes you’ve perched yourselves on…I’d hate for you to fall and hurt one of your two faces.

    I love ya Las!!

  2. Sorry for the longest response/comment ever. Just for the length though…not the content lol. 🙂

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